goodness, gracious, great halls of fire!

you all watched the game yesterday... want 2 great re-caps??? emptynetters & thepensblog

found on the thepensblog from last nights game:

oh poo!

oh... technology... you failed me yet again!!!
first off, damn you blackberry for making ANY model of a phone without a camera! who does that these days?!?! especially on a blackberry?!?! and just why exactly, am i bitter at you this afternoon blackberry?!?! because my friend at work has said model of blackberry phone w/o camera option... and friend at work went and "beat up" the men's bathroom room as if it stole his last pop-tart, pissed in his shoe, cut him off and hit the brakes to slow down for the squirrel hill tunnel ... you know what i'm talking about... total destruction of the nasal cavity! and shortly after the damage occurred and he had finished up, i walked on in to do a little somethin'-somethin' of my own, when there it was... left in the bathroom stall by accident! a friends cell phone. the sky's opened, rays of sunshine, lady luck smiling at me, etc.! but! no camera... or else... there would have been an ABUNDANCE of poo pictures, poo text messages, poo e-mails, poo wallpaper, poo, poo, poo! but no... the world is probably that much better of a place because that phone in particular doesn't have a camera option... poo-hoo... i mean, boo-hoo!!!

let this be a warning to you world/pittsburgh... i will!

any given wednesday!

well, i kicked off yesterdays post with a rockin' cheesy 80's song... in this post, one of three things will happen... 1) you wont really understand what's going on 2) you'll TOTALLY get it and hate me (plus, i'm sure one of these songs WILL be stuck in your head for the rest of the night) or 3) one of you ladies MAY get pregnant to the sweet sound of phil collins in your ear! my finger are crossed! i'm excited! off we go to the most useless blog/post on the net...

there's a BIG, BIG game within hours but i don't need to tell any of you that... obviously! a game that could potentially change the direction of the whole series! a big win at home can certainly spark something deep within the pens... a loss will just... ugh... either way, energy, anticipation, excitement:



being down 2 games to 0 in the finals of any sport will automatically put a team:



the pens however??? with youth... an EXPLOSIVE offence... on home ice... with a whiteout... NO MATTER WHAT happens... they are definitely:



if the pens loose to detroit tonight, detroit will pretty much be dancing:



and for penguins fans, a loss will set up for:



but you know what?!?! pens!!! pens fans!!!



because:



"F" you and the horse you rode in on detroit! this ultra-cheesy, stupid-assed post is for you!

game 2... ugh...

...well... last night was one of those nights...




you know... one step closer to...

after the third goal of the game... SEVENTH unanswered goal of the series... turn the tv off... stomp around the house slamming every door and yelling obscenities... jump into your focus... i mean car LEAVE... give all the annoying ghosts/aliens at your house time to re-group and get you back for stomping around my... your house...

save me jennifer. hee hee

those puppies will save me EVERY time!

take a long drive with the windows down... go to pick up an orange juice and peanut butter twix (comfort food)... give a bum your change... yell at that same bum 10 seconds later when he accidentally asks you AGAIN for change!!! drive some more... think about all the times you've punched somebody square in the chops... and, well... did it help for me??? NO.

maybe it will help for you...

ugh! just pain old ugh!

did i give up yet, you ask??? no *whimper*

but holy geez! c'mon guys! get your heads out of your wah-zoo! now, i'll get the same felling going into game three as i do every time i hear "meet us dahn at sing-sing n'at" ... where you KNOW the night is just going to flat-out suck (just, when it sucks at a sucky place like sing-sing or any other dueling piano bar for that matter, you have a sucky soundtrack to go along with it).

sucks! just sucks!

but, no, i HAVE to stand firm and support the pens through-and-through! besides, we could be in for a giant turn around and one of the best rides of our lives!

or... take it:

or better (worse) yet... TRUE torture:

shut up and sing pens!

take us out dan:

p.s.

not for nothing... but... bonnie tyler would have had my babies in the eighties!

pens galore!

ok, so i promised i wouldn't really blog about the penguins (the team), until AFTER the cup finals... and i'm holding through to that... a bit! but, thanks to emptynetters... reading his post today (go check it out!!!), and after a little digging into the detroit free press (or whatever), i found a few videos of interest: penguin themed (not the team).

first up, i found those silly english over at the BBC did some april foolishness via technology... technology that seems to be way better than mine... WAY better than mine:

technology:


technology/to do list
(by "to do list" i mean... an add for the local "rub & tug"):

jessica alba's gq in my desk drawer:

ok, we all know how that fits into my workday!

anyways, here are those wacky BBC'ers and their funny-ness (you'll get the gist after a few seconds... no need to watch the whole video):



so then, also on the detroit free press (or whatever) web page i found an "oldie but goodie":

but, as i was watching it, my boss walked buy and i quickly "x'ed" out of it... so, no biggie, instead of digging through pages of stuff, i can just find it again on youtube! right? sure... well, go and type in "beware the penguin" in youtube and find out what YOU come up with!!!

penguin cartoon:

YEAH! me too!!!

where do i start with these intriguing, crayonic, intriguing cartoons??? did i mention intriguing??? i am addicted! there, that will kick it off. i could only handle "the sequel"... youtube describes it as:

i'll describe it as AWESOME!

first off, kudos for coloring inside the lines! you got this little 'giun... that i'm guessing is waiting for underwater public transportation... when he starts daydreaming (who doesn't while waiting for the bus)... so he starts a cliffhanger-esque dream bubble:

cliffhanger:

or better yet:



not my first choices of daydreams... this is:

hmmm:



or (stick eith it, or fast forward to the last 10 seconds or so):



but anyways, cliffhanger, blah, blah, blah... penguin with helmet mountain climbing... here, have my cool hat before i plunge into a white abyss... daydream ends... here comes shark (smiling, no doubt)... steals hat (sharks WILL do that from time-to-time), looks hungry... gets punked down by the penguin! "hey, look at the huge blue-eyed whale"---"like i'll fall for that"---chomp---"duh"---boo-yow! eatin by a whale! oldest trick in the book! well, one of them anyway... whale closes eyes and squirts hat out of hole (if i had a dollar for every time i typed that statement during the day)... penguin: "gimmie that back"... whale turns and sends a SERIOUS message via his other hole (didn't know whales could do that on que)... swims away, penguin chases... whale gets pissed, swims back FAST and YOINK!!! eats penguin... smiles... but wait! penguin RAGES inside whales tummy: peter pan style (or whatever that little wooden boy was named)... whale does whatever any whale would do in that situation... swim over to a giant pepto bismol and wills it into his stomach... penguin like "WTF?!?!" ... rage, rage, rage... uh oh! glorious explosion!!! nothing but jaws & eyeballs!!! dogs & cats, living together... total anarchy! wink, wink from mr. penguin... "i'll be back"

bitch!

WHEW! what an eventful day in the PacoNation offices!

speaking of the PacoNation office: reminder, tomorrow is black & gold jeans day!!!

he'll wear 'em:

out!

i'm done for the week! have a great/safe holiday weekend!!! see you tuesday!

PacoNation@gmail.com

PacoSpace!

... probably no post today (other than this one (obviously))... working on the NEW PacoNation MySpace page!!!

http://www.myspace.com/paconation40

go check it out if you get the chance... friends!!! haha

rex gildo!

first off, i'd like to treat you with this (should have all seen it by now... just in case):



almost makes me forget how hung over and sick i was yesterday morning (and, by "yesterday morning" i mean like 1:00 when i finally rolled out of bed)!

the "hossa" video was found out on ThePensBlog sometime last week and has been stuck in my head ever since! such a happy triumphant song! it should seriously be the mexican national anthem... and hossa should be mexico's "favorite son"... even though he not mexican...

that picture alone is the reason hossa is my man-crush... and is everything i want to be as a human! LOOK... AT... HER!!!

...and speaking of 1 of my first 2 stops, and favorite sites on the internet! ThePensBlog & Emptynetters! the dynamic duo! i am happy for the penguins so far, but know they HAVE a long way to go, and i'm just as nervous today as i was wednesday april 9th! nuff said about that... my point is, i'm JUST as happy for the hard working EN & TPB staff! they deserve this just as much... and have the honor of blogging their home team through the cup finals! i hope we enjoy every minute of it, if you know what i mean, because i will be reading right along!!!

enough about that... more to come!

speaking of favorite internet sites in general, i found this over at uniwatchblog (the only reason its not one of my first stops is because it's not updated till 9:30-10ish... definitely one of my favorites though!!!)... anyways, look at the name the "pats" could have been... the bay city patriots? kind of neat but only cause i'm a:

definitely interesting though! read if you get a minute or two, but here is the link to yet ANOTHER great site out on the web fleersticker... with awesome old-school football pics:

http://fleersticker.blogspot.com/2008/05/1968-fleer-football-big-signs.html

i'm obviously no expert so, say what you will about "bay city" vs. "new england"... one thing i DO know for sure is that... i think the patriots have a new training facility near scranton pa:

and the sentence/statement of:

"one thing i DO know for sure is that... i think..."

is the whole reason i blog in the first place!!! captain dummy, at your service!

lets have a gwat-stompin' great monday and an even better (if that's even humanly possible) week!

*HOSSA! HOSSA! HOSSA! HOSSA! Ho-ssa fiesta mex-i-ca-na do-do-do-do-do-do-doo...*

just imagine being an american boy growing up with the last name "gildo"...

-can't find the saturday night live clip of "little johnny hildo"-

rex could handle it though... that man is all business! his business is groupies *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*... and business is GOOD!!!

oh, the "F" bomb!

--TURN DOWN VOLUME, "CHOICE" WORDS!!!--

ladies and gentleman... mrs. sue simmons:



so i ask... sue... what the "F" are they doing?!?! what is going on in that news room during the 6-11 shift? geez!!! how many captain & cokes do you have to sneak in between stories??? i know... did chuck do the ol' "hey, look at this paper on my lap" and written on the paper was "here's the beef!" (cause he's SO old he'd still get that joke), or "if this was your house you'd almost be home!" and while you starred at either phrase in confusion, he pulled the paper away... and you were left with an eye-full of his *breakfast buffet?!?! if that's the case, gosh i love chuck scarborough!!! or "c-scar" as the interns around the station probably call him (chuck, just make the "woo" noise next time you do that trick)... hope you didn't see the movie waiting, sue, or you're gonna end up with some sore cheeks! f.y.i., party's at chucks place this weekend...

...maybe sue just wanted a cool re-mix like our favorite dorky camp counselor-like news man bill o'reilly???



bombs away!!!

cold in here?!?!

enjoy the weekend everybody!!!

veronica... ron... piano man... take us out of here!!!

*sausage & eggs!!!

dummy to: self

yeah... that didn't happen today! great "note to self"... dumb ass!

alright wednesday!

where the hell did the sun go from yesterday?!?! ugh!

crappy weather, and absolutely NOTHING to talk about today*... so i will leave you with this... every time i hear it i can't help but think of the jackass crew either dancing around like kids, or doing something insanely stupid! loved that show!!! enjoy:



*as i AM a HUGE fan, i refuse to talk/type in depth about a certain pittsburgh NHL team right now because without me... the are doing JUST FINE!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK GUYS!!! <--- that's all!

gorilla what?!?! wtf???

not much going on today, other than this:


seriously? gorilla munch organic cereal sounds SO awesome! *sarcasm*

i guess when "they"... the powers that be... FDA? removed the word "sugar" from cereal boxes i.e.: sugar pops, sugar smacks, etc., they needed words to replace it... like... "gorilla"???

"sugar munch" would have been... no... would have sounded SO much better!!!

which brings me to my next thought... organic? as if gorilla munch isn't bad enough, it has to be organic? ugh! just my opinion! i'm sure some of you kiddies (or hippies) just cant get enough gorilla munch!!! the name alone is SO appealing... "hello, marketing department... just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do something like... name our cereal gorilla munch... and totally redeem yourself!"

*triumphant high-5*

what?!?!

me on the other hand... i'll be searching for some gorilla grahams, fruit poops, and... uh... some... cap'n dummy crunch??? hmmm...

aye, aye cap'n... go on with that bad-ass mustache!

looks kinda like me after a hockey game... or... sled riding... ehhh...

i actually goggled gorilla munch to see what exactly the deal is, and as the http://www.naturespath.com/ (don't bother), page took FOREVER to open (must be scientologists), i realized 2 things: 1) this post, albeit not funny in the first place, has ran its ground ... and 2) i really could give a gorillas arse about the whole thing! just thought the box was funny...

peace & chicken grease!

lobster insurance!

alright, for those of you "lucky" enough *cough, cough*... to know me on a more intimate basis, then you know i'm a pretty simple guy and really don't give shmack about too much else! really... sometimes it gets me into trouble *cough, relationships, cough* geez! must have caught a cold out there at mellon arena walking around pre-penguins game last night!

yes, i stole that pic...

anyways, i don't get too political, too religious, too deep, etc.. AT ALL! ha-ha. so i DO think its sad and unfortunate if you don't have insurance of some type... especially kids. but i can tell you one things FOR SURE: weather you have insurance or not... grown up, kid, or something that resembles either... C.E.O., or the person that cleans the booths at the 25cent movies on liberty ave (not that i know... ahhh...)... all i know is STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS KID:

everywhere the 'the little...' goes, something bad is happening! geez! he's walking around all smug with a back-pack... NOT because he's off to school! probably because his family is LONG gone and he's on the run! use your imagination, whatever... he just oozes evil! i will have nightmares just knowing this kid is walking among us...

gee, 3 guesses who just happened to innocently wander by 4 seconds before this:

how bout now:

cute kid though (not miley... well)... maybe they (director/company), could have went a better direction in their commercial choices but we're not all spielberg, scorsese, or smith are we???


in fact, the closest i've ever come was filming lobsters duke it out in the tank at the monroeville red lobster. angry little "F'ers" too! video to come as soon as i figure out this whole "cell phone video to youtube" thingy-ma-giggy!

other GREAT *cough, cough* videos i've from my camera phone:

a fire,
dogs running at me,
a deer eating garbage, and finally
a baby looking at me

o hollywood, where art thou?

first things first... now i'm hungry for cheddar bay biscuits, and i gots to get this *cough, cough* nagging cough checked out...

oh, by the way

"the nation" rests on weekends!

ok, that sounded incredibly stupid!

i'm probably not going to post on weekends! obviously <--- me!

more to come later today! hope everyone had a great weekend/mother's day!

VW United!

"On Mar 6, D.C. United and Volkswagon of America, Inc. today announced a five-year partnership highlighted by jersey sponsorship rights..."

d.c. united will always have a soft-spot in my heart. if the MLS ever becomes more popular and competes with the 4 major north american sports, then i need a home team to brag about (screw columbus...)! d.c. has cool colors, the first ever MLS championship, 4 MLS championships, and the other washington sports teams have never really posed much of a threat to pittsburgh!

also, they sold me an affordable authentic "captain #40" jersey! AND, after a big mess up, i ended up paying half of what i should have paid for it anyways... the first official captain dummy jersey... behold:

...and then addidas/MLS/whomever changed their uniforms:

caption: "this guy! this guy right here!"

tools!

caption: ummm... yeah...

now i know uniwatch will tear this new jersey up because of both the huge v-dub logo in the middle, and the logo creep right there as big as day at the top... but if you absolutely HAVE to have a sponsor on your jersey??? all things considered??? volkswagon isn't too shabby. the fact the vw seems like a cool company and is very trendy and forward thinking... plus the logo is pretty sweet... and one of the most recognizable logos on the planet... a true icon! just ask mike d:

whoa! addidas AND vw?!?! coincidence??? i think not...

what bothers me about the jersey? ADDIDAS! WTF is up with the shiny-ness?!?! seriously?!?! these jerseys/uniforms... for being "authentic"... are chincy at best! as i sit here in my ultra-heavy, double/triple stitched bristol-rugby-bass ale-jersey!

one of the finest pieces of clothing i've ever purchased! and by the way, VW=cool sponsor... bass ale=no question about it!!! it would be like asking:

"you need to buy a hockey jersey, and that jersey needs to 'send a message'! so, would you like gary roberts? or gary roberts?"


exactly! no question. back on topic... addidas, to me, makes sensationally bad clothing anyway... it's just too bad you HAVE to buy from them to support your team! and that corporate addidas logo is awful! RBK, you listening? at least the nike swoosh is simple and you know what it is... plus, nike makes a great product. as much as we (you all) like to hate on them!

... i'll own a new d.c. united jersey when they're made available... ugh!

on a side note... tough:

#40!!! rick??? sutcliff???

what's my favorite number in all the world? you got it? so why do i love when sports illustrated (or any other sports outlet) releases its "best player by number" deal??? for obvious reasons! and i know that the #40 is a total jobber*/middle relief/right fielder number, but, c'mon!!! the #40 is NOT very well represented in baseball! rick sutcliff for cryin' out loud?!?! all right, in a career that spanned the far reaches of 1976-1994 sutcliff was a: 3x all star, 79 R.O.Y., 84 NL cy young, 87 roberto clemente award (awesome!), etc.. not too shabby... ehh well. spent most of his career in the NL, so no doubt mike schmidt tagged him a time or two (5 to be "almost" exact)! is this the best picture of sutcliff that wikipedia could find/post by the way?

i mean... i'll stand around a group of kids and pick my nose from time-to-time too... but just add a cow bell and he looks like will farrell in this saturday night live skit:



this little tid-bit, though, makes me proud to share the #40 with rick... from wikipedia, and i quote: "On May 10, 2006 after a long day of drinking and golfing with comedian Bill Murray, Sutcliffe attended a night game between the San Diego Padres and Milwaukee Brewers in San Diego..."

when will that situation ever turn out for the good?!?! ha-ha! bill, rick, next time you decide to golf & booze it up... call your boy, captain dummy!!! it goes on to say that "...he began a rambling and incoherent interview by saying, "It's not that busy man, it's not that busy." He then rambled on about off-the-wall subjects such as George Clooney and his daughter's "mission"... blah, blah, blah..."

his daughter's mission: to hook up the the captain! kidding! now i'm curious...

runner-up (and my vote): don wilson!

why you ask? never heard of him? me neither! until i went back to "old reliable, always true" wikipedia!!! don wilson's story is a more unfortunate, sad story... decent career, no hitter, good record... but found dead in his car... in the garage... engine running... that's not the reason, as i am not a morbid person... the thing that most caught my eye:

"wilson's career began after he graduated from compton community college in compton california"

that's right (turn your speakers DOWN!):



i once thought of transferring from CCAC to CCCC or C4! GO EL CAMINO!!!

i would feel like my name should really be "paco" just to fit in...


hometown pirates famous #40 you ask??? murtaugh! 2 TIME PITTSBURGH PIRATES WORLD SERIES CHAMPION-MANAGER!!! that statement really doesn't do him all the justice in the world. he was a good ball player, better manager and had a great eye for talent. in fact, he was the first manager to start an all minority line-up. the only reason i really don't "love him" is i heard that he really didn't see eye-to-eye with my boy roberto! maybe i'm wrong, maybe rumors are wrong... it was certainly a tough time for everybody and danny was, after all, a hard-ass... who knows, maybe everything was taken out of context! either way, glad to see the #40 is retired by my favorite baseball team!

...i can ONLY hope someday i have a wikipedia entry and one of the points start up "... after a long day of drinking and golfing with comedian bill murray..."

*many thanks to ThePensBlog for "jobber"... SUCH a great word that describes SO much!

ahhh, angus at his best!

sometimes words just aren't necessary:

HUGE pirates game friday night!!!

went to the ol bucco game last night! when i left 7th-ish (i think right after the pirates batted around the order) it was 12-2... i definitely don't "re-cap" games (esp. around playoff hockey time), so don't ask me how or why 4 more runs were scored... but in the grand scheme of things, the pirates were there wearing uniforms and everything... i mean, won . big whoop! nice night, no fans, dippin' dots, what more could you ask for, right? what's that, winning team, what?!? come again?!?! *cough, cough*

so that brought up a question in my head and in conversation with co-worker "the b.e.".

the penguins are playing friday night in the first game of the east finals against the hated flyers... a game that should traditionally "set the tone"... a must see game (NO more game-hype needed!!!)! so, our fearless pirates are playing the boys from the ATL... now, you KNOW there will be a few fans (at least) at the pirates game... so my question: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? who misses the penguins game for a pirate game?!?! i would LOVE a local news station to sit outside of PNC park friday night and ask this very question to people either at the game, or leaving in the 7th as i did last night! i really don't even want to break down my opinion of what percentage of fans are 1) employees of the pirates 2) out of towners who's life long dream is to catch a game in PNC park 3) atlanta fans 4) just plain stupid! really, i hate to be SO harsh... but c'mon! at some point friday night, i WILL flip over to the pirates game just to catch a quick glimpse of PNC parks attendance... probably in an intermission... probably to avoid don cherry and his "tough-guy, canadians rule-except for the canadians that play in america" rants! and that flash wardrobe he's always sportin' around!

anyways... they WILL come! just who "they" are??? we shall only be left to wonder...

lose 10 pounds fast!!!

...cut your head off! ha-ha.

so, in preparation for the last week of july... when my brother is getting married in mexico... i went on a "low-to-no saturated/trans fat" diet and i've been hitting the weights... not too hard though. at the moment, i don't lift a weight over 30lbs... the regularity and the routine i'm now in... along with ice hockey 1-2 times a week, everything is fitting in nicely! should be beach-ready by summer! take a look for yourself:

any other info you'd like about the diet/workout, just e-mail me. i'm certainly no nutritionist (can recommend a good one though), or personal trainer but hey... when it works, it works! no biggie!

125 years of pittsburgh sports (and no mini ponies in this one)

i saw this video over at TheBurghBlog and just HAD to share! great video, although i wish they could have found better resolution from some of the clips... but, if you're a true pittsburgh sports fan, those clips are burned into your memory and are clear as day while watching! hopefully your brain broadcasts in HD! enjoy:

p.s.

what a beautiful site!!! the light blues... the dark blues... the goofy logo that i couldn't figure out how to re-size the word arc around the.... blah, blah, blah! i must say, simply lovely! ha-ha!

cause i'm baaaad... i'm nation-wide!

ok, z.z. top sang it WAY better than i could ever type it! well here it is: the kick-off to this blog!

i finally settled on a name i'm comfortable with, and that is easy to remember (and designed an awesomely goofed-up logo). PacoNation is in fully operational!!! enjoy posts with bad grammar and "...'s" because i don't know when a comma or period is appropriate in a sentence... or a thought... see??? but don't expect an every day thing... especially on the weekends! this is just a place for me to vent, review, show off, or what-have-you! stop back every once-in-a-while at your convenience!

one love,
capt. dummy!

p.s.
at the moment, that "one love" is bass ale... so if you know who i am and see me out... you know what to order!!!



...looks about right!!!